


Thor is Loved

by Banna



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: look this is literally just me being mad about how the mcu did Thor dirty
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-16
Updated: 2019-06-16
Packaged: 2020-05-12 17:00:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 855
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19233367
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Banna/pseuds/Banna
Summary: How I wish the Russo brothers would have shown Thor's experience of PTSD and trauma.





	Thor is Loved

**Author's Note:**

> I'm bitter

Thor was traumatized. That was it. That was the only way to put it. He’d watched countless of his friends die, he had failed to make the death blow when it had counted. You could have saved them. The sentence had echoed endlessly in his head for the past five years. Over and over and over. He had night terrors, waking up in cold sweats. He was a god, and what god was it? It was never any good when it counted.  
  
Every decision felt paralyzing. His home was destroyed and empty and now Midgard was too. He hadn’t been able to save his brother, or his mother, or his father, or his sister, or his home, or the earth he loved so much. And now the people wanted him to rule? He, who had fucked up everything he tried to do.  
  
It never left him alone. The thoughts, the dissociation, the emptiness, god the emptiness. So yes, he had turned to binge drinking and then binge eating, which paired rather well with the former. Valkyrie ran New Asgard just fine without him. The best he could do was keep himself in a haze to forget the pain.  
  
So yes, when the Avengers came back to find him he had lost his six-pack and was in a drunken stupor, but worst of all he had lost his confidence and every shred of his self-worth. He honestly believed he was not going to be of any help to the team.  
  
When the others told Tony what he was like, with tones of mocking in their voice and tinge of disgust, he bristled. “Don’t say another word to him until he gets back. Just...bring him back.”  
  
They were too shocked to argue.  
  
Tony was waiting on the landing strip when the plane touched down. As soon as the door opened he pulled Thor out of the plane and into his room. “Shower. Now.” It wasn’t a question.  
  
The god rubbed his temples. “I’m too tired.”  
  
“Don’t worry,” said Tony, in a gentler tone, sleep after a shower and some food.”  
  
Begrudgingly, Thor got into the shower. He did have to acknowledge, however, that the hot water felt good. He toweled off, feeling significantly better. There were clothes left out for him on the counter, and a toothbrush. He used that too.  
  
When he came out into the room Tony had some toast and on the table for him as well as a large mug of coffee. After the shower, he did feel a bit hungry. He ate rather quickly while Tony sat across from him in amiable silence, sipping from his own mug. Thor finished and the other directed him to bed.  
  
“Sleep for a couple of hours, I’ll be back to talk when you’re up.”  
  
Thor was going to protest, but the bed did look comfortable. He couldn’t remember the last time he had a good sleep. More importantly, he couldn't remember the last time he had felt this cared for. Odin and Frigga hadn’t been the most...present of parents.  
  
He woke from another nightmare a few hours later to Tony sitting at the end of the bed. He gasped. “You scared me.”  
  
Tony shrugged and inclined his head. “Sorry. We need to talk. Do you feel better?”  
  
“Yeah, a bit.”  
  
“I’m sorry if the rest of the team said anything to you.”  
  
“They didn’t. They didn’t have to. I’ve thought every insulting thing about myself they could have ever said to me. I know I’ve gotten fat, I’m a drunk, and I failed. I failed all of them. I failed everyone.”  
  
“Thor, I’ve been where you are. For a lot longer than you’ve been here. You’re in the pit right now, and it’s the worst. Hell, I don’t remember most of my twenties. I know you feel that way about yourself. But, Thor none of us could beat him. None of us could stop him. If I hadn’t created Ultron...”  
  
“Tony, no you didn’t know-”  
  
“Exactly. I know you had to numb it somehow. It got too painful, didn’t it?”  
  
Thor nodded.  
  
“I know, it’s ok. But you don’t need to do it anymore. You’ve got us. Your family. We can help, if you let us.”  
  
“I’m no use to you now. Look at me.”  
  
Tony raised an eyebrow. “What, because you’ve gained weight? And drank? Well you’re sober now and you’re a literal god, so I really don’t think a few extra pounds is going to take away from your helpfulness.”  
  
“But...”  
  
“We’re here for you Thor, all of us. If not before, then now.”  
  
And so Tony had a very serious talk with the other Avengers. Thor was hugged and talked up by his chosen family. His self-confidence slowly became restored. He realized he could be just as worthy fat as he was when he had a six-pack. No one made jokes that cheez-whiz ran through his veins. There was no interaction with his dead mother where she told him to eat a salad. Instead, she took the opportunity to tell him she loved him and always had and always will.


End file.
